Seeing these men in concert tomorrow!!!!
(Source: happinessreighns98)
This song is ending, but the story never ends.
universe for my creys ;__;
that episode ;_;
I was wondering if I should make this into a song
I never believed anyone could love me. I didn’t believe I could love anyone else.
Maybe I was right.
We both saved ourselves before it was too late. Maybe we really saved each other, we just didn’t know at the time.
You were there and you understood. You told me things I had never heard. Lovely words I dreamt about as a teenage girl.
I was all so perfect. In theory.
All the creeping doubt in my head so powerful when I was gone from your side but then vanished with your kiss.
It was as if all the time I couldn’t see your face the thoughts yelled at me. Screamed into my heart and head telling me to stop lying to myself, and lying to you. But then when I was in your arms your love and devotion drowned it all out.
Your eyes spoke louder than my subconscious, but when I was so many hours and miles away those deep brown harbingers of senselessness could not fool my heart. It knew what I did- no matter how many times I told you I loved you it did not make it true. Repetition had failed me for the first time.
So there I was in all of my state of panic and there you were half a country away so unknowingly in love. You didn’t deserve to have to fall any deeper. And so my resolve started spreading slowly as my uncertainties bled through the surface exposing themselves in insignificant arguments.
You knew what was coming, and I knew I would hurt you. For all the heartlessness I showed you with my decision you showed me the greatest of compassion by not requesting my presence.
If I had seen your face, felt your touch, or smelled your skin my resolve would have instantly evaporated. If your pride had enabled you to offer one word of defense to me I wouldn’t have been able to resist.
But what is done is done and as you said there is no going back. With the pauses came the end. The end of one of the most beautiful times in my life. Now here I am sitting, looking back, wondering at myself. Wondering if not with you if I will ever attain a future with another. If I am even capable. And at the end of it all my heart is in shreds. I can only hope that you fare better than I. Because beyond everything that happened at our journey’s end I still care so much for you, and you cared for me more than anyone ever has. Or possibly ever will.
